Dying Selves Cells

I came across this cabin. 150 years old. And just fell in love. It’s pending, but not with me.
I fell in love with a blind horse. She passed in 2months.
All short lived relations.
It simply wasn’t meant to be.
I fell in love with a little peace of land.
But can’t find anyone to return my call.
woes me.
1st world problems.
All little, temporary tastes of life and death.

At the end of the day. If it is meant to be. It will be.
Surrendering to all kinds of emotions these days.

Dreams not temporarily put on hold, simply diverted for me to pay attention to other things.

Follow the rules of the game. Make up your own rules.

Realization that I have given too much credit to others, that have only closed doors on me. bc their way is to close doors on themselves. They were also temporary teachers that woke me to realize my powers are my choices to move further to my highest and best self.
I am grateful, bc I see the big picture.

Rejection, after rejection from loved one to fake ones.
But I choose to persevere and continue exploring new rules in my little cave.

New opportunities from strangers that only see my energies bc I bring out theirs. I am grateful.

Learning new feelings of pity and sadness and longing intensely for a space where I don’t speak, don’t teach for a moment and to bathe only with La Naturaleza. With no worries of wondering why I am questioned or doubted of my abilities , when the doubt doesn’t exist in my mind.
To me. Anything and everything is possible.
There are absolutely no limits in my mind to see the beauty and abilities in all around me.

It’s hard not to see the obvious decay of humans due to laziness and convenience. And yes, this includes myself.
We are doing our best we say, but are we really? Are you slouch bc you don’t want to hold yourself up, but think you can hold up the world? Or are you slouch bc you are consciously stretching out your back?

the one brilliance I have the most pleasure in observing in this life is all that my little jaguar teaches me.
our ability to converse and for her to grasp the knowledge of my words, when she hears me tell her…”I hear you baby girl”.
and her eyes speak to me with nothing but gratitude and trust.

Many lives I have ventured.
This is my first and last with child.
My own little precious family.
with twists and turmoils and happiness and gloating.
nothing is more important to me than her.

the powers I will remind her she was born with.
the knowledge she will gain and the freedom she provides for me.
I am grateful.
I could have missed this opportunity to be present in her life, but I consciously choose not to. Every single day.

and she isn’t mine, like I am not my mother’s.
I am a guide for her, by leading by example and thru communication. her and I don’t sweep anything under the rug.
she will have her own choices and experiences and I can only hope that she, like all of us use the tools we have been given, with understanding and not with ego.

the common sense of it all is that nothing and everything matters.

I have lived a good and fulfilling life mostly on my terms, bc I dare not hand over my powers to others
the others that weren’t always kind were never entitled to my powers and they sure didn’t earn it.
I continue to mindfully look up into the eye of Soleil and am grateful for being persistent on my path. to be here for her.
by my choice, to continue to be

Lost & Found

new ways for a new life
bc I need peace of my mind